saw a photograph of myself today at my lowest weight around christmas.

It took my breath away for a second, I was so fragile, small, lovely. It kind of tore me inside a little, realising I’m not 105lbs anymore, but 117lbs. At first I thought about going back to it, completely and utterly, giving into my demons, but then, what use would that be?

I can’t decide whether being in recovery is the best thing for me, or the worse. It’s really taking it’s toll at the moment and I feel like just giving in. The gym and the healthy eating is a 2 month programme until I get the body I want, and then I can just carry on to maintain it, whereas with my eating disorder I was yoyo-ing between 110lbs to 105lbs, bloating up or concaving inwards.

Anyway, had a beautiful weekend with my family and my boyfriend, we went for a picnic in the forest on saturday and then went to the beach and the arcades on sunday, it was wonderful. Hope you all had a lush weekend, xoxox

LOL WHO R U.

fuck off you dirty tramp.